Bad Drivers

 

Bad drivers.  What is it with bad drivers?  I’m not saying I’m a fabulous driver but I can execute a brilliant reverse park in one smooth move in peak hour traffic.  Yes I can.  I’ve also managed to hit a column in a carpark that I swear wasn’t there when I parked.  Just keeping it real, people.

What is it with:

  • Drivers who pull out without indicating.  Hello!  I am not psychic.
  • Drivers who indicate AFTER they move.  Still not psychic.
  • Drivers who turn left from the far right of the lane, even when there is a perfectly good turning lane available.
  • Drivers who chop and change lanes constantly.  You don’t get there any faster.
  • Drivers who speed through very orange lights so all the people wanting to turn right get stuck in the middle of the intersection.
  • Drivers who don’t strap their children in.  Yes, it still happens.  I know!
  • Drivers who put their young children in the front seat.  There are rules and they are for your child’s safety.
  • Drivers who talk on their phone.  We can tell who you are by your wibbly wobbly steering.
  • Drivers who are clearly far more important than you and therefore believe it is perfectly OK to zoom up in the inside Left Turn Only lane, only to cut in front of you at the last minute, usually without indicating, obviously.

 

  • Drivers who do not understand the “zip” theory of merging traffic.  One from the left, one from the right.  Easy peasy lemon squeezy.
  • Drivers who litter out of their window.  Foul beasts.
  • Drivers who drive around you as you’re trying to reverse park.  Idiots.  And it’s illegal.
  • Drivers who don’t park carefully – like over the dividing lines in carparks, or over two marked spaces in parallel street parking.  There is a special place in hell reserved for drivers who park first or last in a row of   unmarked on-street parking too far forward or back, meaning they’re effectively using two parking spaces.
  • Drivers who completely ignore speed limits – driving very fast or veeerrry slloooowwwww.  Especially heinous on a road trip when you get stuck behind someone who drives slowly in the fast lane.
  • Drivers who overtake from the inside.  Dear gods.  I wish you boils on your bum.
  • Drivers on motorways who drive below the speed limit and speed up just as you’re overtaking them.  Then they slow down again.  Repeat ad nauseam.
  • Drivers with P plates who think they are bullet proof.  I’d rather get stuck behind an L plater.  At least they’re generally keen to do their best.  P platers vastly overestimate their abilities.

 

“Cruising” in a Mercedes at Mercedes Benz Fashion Festival last year

Are you a good driver?  A driver who has the right intentions, at least?  What annoys you most about other drivers?

 

 

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