Just the way we are


I read this very beautiful, heartrending and emotional post this morning by Fat Mum Slim and it got me thinking.

I’ve had a few health issues over the years, and these may have contributed to my decision not to have another baby.  I know I certainly couldn’t have contemplated having another round of IVF or pregnancy whilst dealing with chronic illness.  I will never know if that baby hunger would have come back when Boyo was two or three, if life had proceeded as planned and I hadn’t developed an auto immune disorder.   I will just never know.

Just the way we are

We’re absolutely perfectly happy with our one child policy – just the Welshman, Kimba and Boyo.  Our family feels complete.  It did as soon as he was born more than eight years ago.  The yearning that I dubbed “baby hunger” that was all consuming when we were trying to conceive Boyo never struck again.  I’ve never really even been clucky since trying to conceive Boyo.  Sure, I’ve held babies, and I’ve enjoyed the beautiful baby scent and the little solid weight as they nestle into your arms, but I’ve never really wanted to “go again”.

A year or so ago, when I started to get a lot better, my specialist started talking to me about babies and if I wanted to try for another one.  He suggested that we could investigate drug and treatment options and he would help me manage the process.  To be honest, the thought hadn’t even occurred to me but it started me thinking.  I was convinced that I would like another baby, despite not wanting to go through IVF, pregnancy, 37 weeks of morning sickness or a caesarean birth complicated by drug allergies.  Again.

It took me a few months of hard contemplation, and gentle discussions with the Welshman, to work out that what I really wanted was a 5 year old to be chasing my 7 year old around the garden.  I really wanted to have a play with new kit – have  you seen the new prams?!  I really only wanted a baby, not a toddler.  I certainly didn’t want to be pregnant or go through IVF or give birth.  My age was also a factor – a case of now or never.

Kimba Likes Family

But it wasn’t enough.  I really didn’t want to have another baby.  I really truly loved my little family just the way they were.  But I did take the opportunity to mourn what could have been and “the lost years” that illness robbed from me.

So what am I thankful for?  I’m thankful for the realisation that I’m very happy just the way we are.  I’m thankful for remission and recovery and returning health.  I’m thankful for the opportunity to review my thoughts before it was too late.

Family Photo


Most of all, I’m thankful for my family, whom I love more than anything in the entire world.



Kimba Likes // a style blog with a fun family twist! @kimbalikes

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  • […] realised that I was thankful for being just the way we are, and I started planning for my inaugural blogging experience – Blogopolis 2012.  Boyo […]ReplyCancel

  • Erica @ Recycled Fashion - 30 June 2012 - 6.43 pm

    Just want to say that I can absolutely relate to this heart-felt blog post, I admire you for sharing your story – we have a very similar story to this xxReplyCancel

  • Becci Birdy Num Num - 29 June 2012 - 8.36 pm

    What a great outlook. Hopefully nobody pesters you with those questions (usually from family members), “when are having another?”. Even though I’m in my 40’s and my youngest is 9, I was still being asked by the in-laws if I was going to have a third child. Now I can answer “where would it gestate? in a box?” – a hysterectomy shuts them up.
    Good on you and your beautiful family – enjoy! xxxReplyCancel

    • Kim-Marie Williams - 1 July 2012 - 5.58 pm

      Most people are pretty good now. They know enough to stop with the questions anyway :). It’s usually strangers for some reason! Love your comeback! ReplyCancel

  • Penny - 29 June 2012 - 7.29 pm

    I completely understand. My clock was ticking for Miss Possum. All I thought about was having a a baby. Once I’d had her, the feeling for another baby never came back. I made a decision to have another though, just because I would have loved a boy for hubby… but I had the twins and they were girls! You just can’t really plan, life lets know you what you need and life told you that one baby fit perfectly. Obviously our three strikes and you’re out really did end up being the three strikes!ReplyCancel

    • Kim-Marie Williams - 1 July 2012 - 6.01 pm

      Well, that was a roll of the dice! 🙂 The best thing about kids is that we absolutely love them, even if they’re not quite what we had in mind. I was convinced my bump was a girl, until we saw his willy at the 12 week scan! I thought I’d want a girl but I couldn’t love my boy more x

      You are an excellent wife, by the way! 🙂ReplyCancel

  • Nat - 29 June 2012 - 4.38 pm

    You really are a beautiful, gorgeous doll.

    Love this post.


  • fatmumslim - 28 June 2012 - 11.11 pm

    What a beautiful, beautiful post. And how beautiful that you can be so grateful. Thank for writing this. xReplyCancel

  • bodyandfeetretreat@gmail.com - 28 June 2012 - 10.32 pm

    I have got tears in my eyes reading this – a post that you wrote straight from your heart. We all have things to be thankful for and I love reading what others are thankful for – yours was heartfelt and amazing !
    Have a great Friday and enjoy your family of three – we are a family of three and wouldn’t have it any other way.

    • Kim-Marie Williams - 29 June 2012 - 7.10 am

      Why, thank you very much. Three is a pretty awesome number for a family, isn’t it! The ratio of parents to children comes in very handy for overseas travel – something we seem to do quite a lot as all our family live overseas! 🙂 Thanks for your lovely words. xReplyCancel

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