How to get pregnant

Brought to you by IVF Australia and Digital Parents Collective

 How to Get Pregnant - telling my story, busting some myths and sharing some tips

 

I’m sharing my story, busting some myths and offering some tips on how to get pregnant, with thanks to IVF  Australia.  It’s all about the journey from contraception to conception.

Our journey to becoming parents was a little unusual.  I’ve known since my early 20s that I would have trouble conceiving.  I’ve known since I was a wee girl that I’ve always wanted to be a mother.  I just had to meet the person I wanted to have babies with.

Luckily, the Welshman came into my life.  I knew he was The One right from the beginning, but when he asked me to have his baby a long time before he asked me to marry him, it was confirmed.

Even though we knew we would need help to get pregnant – but we didn’t yet know what form it was going to take – we still used contraception.  For me, it was the only way I had any semblance of a regular cycle.  When we stopped using contraception, I charted my cycle.  I took my daily basal temperature.  I monitored myself for signs of ovulation.  You might be wondering why? What was the point?

The point was hope.  Plain and simple. Just hope.  No one ever wants to give up hope.  Miracles happen every single day – there’s always the chance one might just happen to you.  Or to me.   Later on, my IVF doctor gave me some very good advice about charting my cycle.  Not only would it help with the IVF process in terms of guesstimating when my cycle might start, but it would help emotionally.

I called it the Pinocchio Effect – charting my daily cycle made me feel like a Real Girl.

Let’s dial it back a bit.  Hop into the time machine with me and we will head all the way to middle school.  For me, this was the mid 80s.  Yes, I’m that old.

Do you remember having sex education classes at school?  Oh, so embarrassing!  It was all about periods and puberty and veered between coyness and gory details.  30 years later and I’m still shuddering!

I will never forget the looks on my friends’ faces when the teacher held up the biggest pad in the history of the world. There was a shocked intake of breath from several hundred 11 year old girls.  They brushed over the basics of anatomy and gave the sketchiest details about how babies were made.  No need for contraception information – we were all horrified and determined never to grow up.  Ever.

Fast forward a few more years to high school, where the sex ed got a bit more real.  Mixed classes this time – how embarrassment.  There were condoms and bananas.  Condoms ON bananas.  Giggling girls.  Blushing boys.  Oh and vice versa.  The focus was all about how NOT to get pregnant.

By the time we hit our prime babymaking years – let’s say mid 20s to 30s – some of us actually don’t know how to get pregnant.  OK, you in the back row.  Stop sniggering.  Yes, yes, we all know the basics.  When a man and a woman really love each other, sperm and eggs and getting jiggy with it and all that jazz.

For some of us, this getting pregnant business can be a bit of a shock to the system.  We all have friends who made the decision for her to come off the Pill, only to discover they get pregnant almost instantaneously.  As well as those friends who seem to be trying and trying for months on end with no success.

Getting pregnant isn’t that easy for many people.  A perfectly healthy couple with no fertility issues in their mid 20s have only about a 20% chance of conceiving every month. Twenty per cent!  Luckily, the trying to get pregnant bit is fun, right?!

Baby Love

How to get pregnant – the myths!

There are some myths which need to be busted when it comes to how to get pregnant.

My fertility is lowered after being on the Pill for years

It’s best to have one natural cycle after you’ve come off the Pill, IUD or implant forms of contraception, but it has no longer term effect on your fertility.  Nothing.  Nada.  Zilch.  Myth. Busted!

Saving up sperm makes them more potent

Not ejaculating for a week to make the sperm better at their job? Luckily for your bloke, this is a myth.  Sperm are made in the testes (yup, thanks Captain Obvious) and then deteriorate after 2-3 days as they’re exposed to factors like temperature, free radicals and toxins.

So here’s some good news for blokes trying to get their partners up the duff.  Please feel free to bonk every couple of days to increase the chance of conception.  Yippee!

Standing on your head sends the sperm in the right direction

An old wives tale of the highest order is the idea that standing on your head, or putting your legs up in the air will encourage the sperm to go where they need to go.  Look, by all means do this.  It is a good excuse to have a little rest after all your hard work in the bedroom, but sadly, it doesn’t help at all.

Just relax and it will happen

Jeez Louise! I think this might just be the most annoying “helpful” piece of advice ever.  Lots and lots of women get pregnant in really stressful situations, when they’re really busy and totally not relaxed.  You can get stressed from infertility, or not getting pregnant as quickly as you’d planned, but stress doesn’t cause infertility.

When it does finally happen, there’s always going to be some prat who tells you it was because you finally relaxed.  Avoid the temptation to give that person a high five.  In the face.  With a chair.  Smile and nod and remind them of the law of averages.  Duh!

How to get pregnant – tips that might actually work

Taking my temperature will tell me when I ovulate

Your basal body temperature rises a few days after ovulation, so it is a myth with a base in fact.  However, this is only useful when you record your daily temperature for a few cycles, and then look back to work out when you ovulated.

This helps you estimate when your next ovulation is due – and when it is time to get busy!  If you have a regular 28 day cycle, you’re likely to ovulate around days 12-14, so the fertile period is usually days 9-16.

Egg whites are not just for omelettes

Monitoring your cervical mucous can let you know when you’re ovulating.  Fertile mucous is voluminous, wet, very slippery and resembles raw egg whites.  The best advice I got from an older friend who’d been there, done that, and had the stretchmarks to prove it, was when you go “whooooooosh” when you wipe, then that’s fertile mucous!

Keep a diary

Record your cycle on a daily basis, and note down the various signs, like temperature, mucous, pimples, headaches, breast tenderness, back twinges, even your sex drive.  It will help you to pinpoint your cycle.  For me, it didn’t help a lot other than to pinpoint that I had no regularity of cycle at all.  It did make me feel like I was doing something on a daily basis.  Yep, the Pinocchio Effect.

I had an old school paper grid diary, and I charted my temperature on a little graph.  Now, there are amazing apps and websites to do all this for you.  They can even send you reminders.  I’d opt for one with discreet messages though.  I’d live in fear of leaving my  phone on  the meeting table and have everyone read that I’m ovulating today!

Consult alternative medicine practitioners

Personally, I don’t think herbs or acupuncture or crystals or massage will do anything to help get you pregnant.  But I do believe that if they make you feel more positive and happy throughout your journey on how to get pregnant, then they certainly can’t hurt.  Anything that increases your physical and / or mental health is an excellent life choice.

Talk to a Fertility Specialist

After six months or so, if you haven’t managed to conceive, it might be worth talking to a fertility specialist.  Visit your GP to get a referral.  The standard advice is that most completely healthy couples will take about 12 months to conceive.  However, the closer you are to 35 years old, the more important it is to seek medical advice and further help.

About 20% of couples will need some medical help to get pregnant.  Fertility specialists have simpler treatment options, such as ovulation cycle tracking, ovulation induction and intra uterine insemination, which they may recommend before you hit the IVF option.

About 50% of the couples who seek help go on to get pregnant without IVF.  Just remember, it never hurts to get some advice and explore your options.

How to get pregnant – my story

A few months after our wedding, we visited a Fertility Specialist and formed a personalised How to Get Pregnant plan.  For us, this was IVF and it resulted in the awesome little dude we call Boyo.

Trying for a baby earlier in life, or having more knowledge about how to get pregnant wouldn’t have helped our situation.  We needed IVF to conceive due to my medical issues.

However, we know lots of couples who struggled with fertility and have experienced issues becoming pregnant.  Some of these people didn’t find the people they wanted to have babies with early enough in their lives.  Some have had health issues which affected their fertility.  Some were unlucky enough to have unexplained infertility.

Most of these people have gone on to have babies – through assisted fertility procedures such as IUI or IVF.  Some have used donated embryos, sperm or eggs. Many fertility clinics can provide anonymous donor sperm, and many will also support you if you have a known egg donor.  A new service in Australia is IVF Australia’s embryo donation website.  

This whole how to get pregnant thing is not as scary as it sounds.  Having babies with the person you love is exciting and emotional and draws you closer together.  Having some knowledge up your sleeve before you start something new in life is always a good idea.  It certainly applies to the journey from contraception to conception!

If it’s not happening as quickly as you’d like it to, getting some expert advice is a good idea.  IVF Australia have some great tips for you.  I’m happy recommending IVF Australia as that is how we completed our family.

I’d love to hear your thoughts.  What was your journey like? Are you at the contraception stage (with babies in your future), into the trying to conceive stage, or out of the other side and back to contraception?

 

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  • Ursulagodeker Godeker - 1 February 2016 - 12.18 am

    Good day,

    Hello to everyone my name is Mrs. ursulagodeker from Canada and am 41years old and was having problem of getting pregnant due to infections and the doctors said my two tubes were blocked ,I have done series of surgery with no positive result until my friend gave me the contacts of a pregnancy spell caster whose name is DR SHEDI. To cut the story short i contacted the spell caster because i was desperate. i did all he asked me to do and between 2 months of his casting the pregnancy spell I check with the doctors and I found out that I was 6weeks pregnant now am in my 8th month so I am glad and I cant wait to give birth and carry my lovely child, the doctors said its a miracle that there is no more infection and my tubes are no longer blocked ,my advise to every one out there is don’t give up despite the doctors report DR SHEDI spell temple has the power to reverse the case. you can contact him on :email (shedispellcaster@gmail.com ) or http://drshedicenter.webs.com// and be among these living testimonies today.

    ThanksReplyCancel

  • Talking about endometriosis | Kimba Likes - 30 November 2015 - 10.18 am

    […] I came off the Pill when I was trying to get pregnant, and had to go back on it the following year after my son was born.  You can read about my IVF experience here. […]ReplyCancel

  • Joyce Robin - 23 June 2015 - 11.09 pm

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  • Joyce Robin - 23 June 2015 - 11.09 pm

    I Have never believer in love spell until i met this world’s top spell caster. He is really powerful and could help cast spell to bring back once’s gone.Dr Ofemo the great spell caster that restore my life back. i had a fight with my husband in the past which led to our breakup. I tried all i could to make him come back to me but he refuse and said it was over between us, one day i came across a testimony on the internet on how Dr. Ofemo used his spell to reunite two lovers so i decided to contact Dr. Ofemo via email and he assured me that my husband will come back to me within 48 hours after he has finish the preparation of the white magic spell.I am very glade today to tell the world that Dr. Ofemo is truly a man of his word because my husband came back to me and fell on his knees begging me to forgive him and accept him back. Do you have a problem then also contact Dr. Ofemo today via email: drofemospelltemple@gmail.com you can call the great Dr four help +2348163387496. am so happy very well Love and Many Blessings Back to me again!email address: drofemospelltemple@yahoo.com thank you so much Dr OfemoReplyCancel

  • Moore Juliet - 10 June 2015 - 1.14 pm

    I am MOORE JULIET from Australia, I have been trying for 5years to get pregnant and needed help! i have Been going to the doctors but still nothing. The doctor said that me and my husband are fine and I don’t know where else to turn, until one day my friend introduce me to this great spell caster who helped her to get back her lost husband back with love spell and also made her pregnant, So I decided to contact this spell caster Dr.Sam on his email after interaction with him he instructed me on what to do, after then i should have sex with the my husband or any man I love in this world, And i did so, within the next one months i went for a check up and my doctor confirmed that i am 2weeks pregnant of two babies. I am so happy!! if you also need help to get pregnant or need your ex back please contact him for help via email: miraclefertilitysolutiontempl1@gmail.com or miraclefertilitysolutiontemple@yahoo.com or through his website: http://miraclefertilityso.wix.com/dr-sam You can also contact him through his mobile: +2348110496031. YOU CAN ALSO READ MY TESTIMONY ON MY BLOGGER LINK: http://moorejuliet.blogspot.com He is a good spell caster
    ……ReplyCancel

  • Moore Juliet - 10 June 2015 - 1.14 pm

    I am MOORE JULIET from Australia, I have been trying for 5years to get pregnant and needed help! i have Been going to the doctors but still nothing. The doctor said that me and my husband are fine and I don’t know where else to turn, until one day my friend introduce me to this great spell caster who helped her to get back her lost husband back with love spell and also made her pregnant, So I decided to contact this spell caster Dr.Sam on his email after interaction with him he instructed me on what to do, after then i should have sex with the my husband or any man I love in this world, And i did so, within the next one months i went for a check up and my doctor confirmed that i am 2weeks pregnant of two babies. I am so happy!! if you also need help to get pregnant or need your ex back please contact him for help via email: miraclefertilitysolutiontempl1@gmail.com or miraclefertilitysolutiontemple@yahoo.com or through his website: http://miraclefertilityso.wix.com/dr-sam You can also contact him through his mobile: +2348110496031. YOU CAN ALSO READ MY TESTIMONY ON MY BLOGGER LINK: http://moorejuliet.blogspot.com He is a good spell casterReplyCancel

  • Martin Peterson - 3 April 2015 - 12.42 am

    How this great man help me to get back my husband and also make me to get pregnant,i was not have a baby of my own for more then 7 year so my husband divorce me,so i did not know what to do on till i saw a testimony about this great man’s name Dr Shikaru who helped a lady to have her own baby this lady was very happy with the testimony she wrote ,when i tough about it i now contacted this man for help and i told him every thing that has happen to he just said that i need to get the anoint oil which i need to buy from him and the herbs which he will prepare,i bought every thing when i told him about my husband he just told me that i should send the money for the oil and the herbs when i did that after 24hours my husband call me back and after 3day i got every thing Dr Shikaru sent to me,that very day start my testimony and now i am a mother of two wonderful, he will help you this are is contact Email: shikarusolution@yahoo.comReplyCancel

  • Toni @ Finding Myself Young - 3 November 2014 - 12.01 pm

    I shared my story a few days ago too. We were told we would most likely have to do IVF with ICSI because we have male fertility issues as well as my PCOS, but miraculously we conceived bub with just clomid. I think she’s definitely meant to be here because we had her against all odds.ReplyCancel

  • On the journey - 1 November 2014 - 1.43 pm

    Thank you for your common sense, pragmatic and very personal article. We have been trying to conceive for 3 years. Our fertility specialist made the same point as you – we gets lots of advice on how NOT to conceive but much less on how TO conceive, which is what a lot of people are needing these days. With his support, we hope to have a precious little bundle soon too. So pleased that IVF was really successful for you 🙂ReplyCancel

  • Deborah - 31 October 2014 - 10.48 pm

    Ah yes, I waited and waited for Mr Right (or Mr He’ll Do) and he hasn’t yet arrived. I gave up at 41 and went it alone – via a fertility clinic. Sadly – despite a few attempts I wasn’t successful and decided to give it up when I was about 43. I sometimes still feel a bit bitter and twisted about it all.

    A friend’s mother (on seeing me with her daughter’s son) commented that I was ‘wasted’ not being a mother. *sigh*

    It took a while but I think I’ve moved on enough to know that I have to accept a life alone. Not exactly the fantasies of my childhood, but still….

    DebReplyCancel

  • Lauren - 29 October 2014 - 7.27 am

    Thanks so much for sharing your story Kimba. I was told I would never have children, which came as a devastating blow when I was only in my very early 20s. My husband and I went into marriage knowing that we would have a long struggle to have children if we decided to go down that path. Yet amazingly, I conceived naturally twice and now have two beautiful boys.ReplyCancel

  • Sophisticated Mumma - 29 October 2014 - 1.47 am

    Awww look at your pics, just gorgeous! A really useful posting and a subject close to many peoples hearts. My sister had IVF and then successfully had another child when she least expected it. Miracles do happen and I count my blessings I’ve had my kiddies everyday!ReplyCancel

  • Jasmine @ Pretty Chuffed - 28 October 2014 - 12.43 pm

    Thanks for sharing your story Kim-Marie. As the others have said, it will certainly help others in the same boat – and your myth-busting is great!ReplyCancel

    • Kimba - 28 October 2014 - 4.36 pm

      Ha, Jasmine, and I didn’t even have to blow anything up, like the real Myth Busters!

      I really hope this will help someone. I know it is the story I would have wanted to read a few years ago.ReplyCancel

  • Beth at GhetteauxPosh.com - 28 October 2014 - 11.18 am

    Glad to hear people talking openly about IVF. I knew very little about it before we started our journey. After five years of trying and only a miscarriage to show for it, while friends got pregnant all around us, we finally made the decision to get some help. We were both fine with plenty of working business, they just couldn’t get it together. We were lucky enough to fall pregnant on the second cycle which was a complete success and today we have 19 month old Lila to show for it. I would encourage others who are struggling naturally to get some advice and try and find an option that suits them and hopefully achieve success.ReplyCancel

    • Kimba - 28 October 2014 - 4.38 pm

      Oh, I really love to hear a happy story like yours! We were lucky to fall on the second cycle too. Actually, almost the first cycle since our first was cancelled due to over stim.

      Thank you for sharing your story too xReplyCancel

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